Today we have a guest post from Rosalyn Hoffman, author of Bitches on a Budget: Sage Advice for Surviving Tough Times in Style.
Thank you so much for inviting me to be a guest blogger on A Girl Must Shop (our sentiments, exactly).
Our book, Bitches on a Budget: Sage Advice for Surviving Tough Times in Style, is a compendium of smart tips and thoughtful advice about living a stylish life for less. It’s fun to read, sometimes bawdy, often ironic, and chock full of practical help and information. Ten chapters cover everything from: shopping, to exercise, to healthy eating, to wheels, to travel, to home décor, to food, to pets (pamper the bitch). A modern woman just can’t (even if she could afford to) consume everything in her path. After all, nothing is less attractive than a bloated bitch.
You are doing such a bang up job of rooting out sales, bargains and special places to find your goodies, we thought we would share an excerpt from our bag that illuminates our budget savings methods.
“Keep Your Hands to Yourself
Leave your house with only enough cash for a cup of coffee. Bring neither a credit card nor a license (stores are sneaky and will allow you to charge just by having a piece of ID). You’re a fan of role-play, right? This time, instead of the naughty nurse, you’re a tourist. Pretend each store you enter is in a foreign country. Not only are you far from home, but also the stores are really museums. You can’t speak the language and, since you’re in a museum, you’re strictly forbidden to touch anything.
You’re now a shopping tourist discovering what’s hot. Start big; aim high. Go to the stores you can no longer afford—Neiman’s, Barneys, Bloomies—and just cruise. Look. Do not touch. Remember, you’re a museum visitor. No eye contact with salespeople. No big, “Hi, how are you?” Even if you’re from the Midwest and warm and friendly by nature, control yourself. Put on your urban bitch face; pretend you don’t understand and just keep moving. Do not get involved. Once you connect with a real person you’re entering into an expensive committed relationship. If you let them get you undressed and in the fitting room—well, bitch, order the rice; wedding bells will be ringing.
Indulge your fantasies—just don’t open your wallet. Then leave the high temples of fashion and move into the mall. Here English is spoken and you can begin to touch again (bring the Purell). Bloomie’s to J.Crew and Banana Republic. Neiman’s to GapBody and Nine West. Barneys to Zara and the Limited. See what repeats. Notice how Nine West has knocked off Prada; Banana has those hip new wide-legged trousers like Dolce & Gabbana; H&M has the cutest black-patent trench coats like Max Mara.
“Search and lust” will become your new motto. Once you find something you are mad for, walk away. Yes, walk away! Hell, you aren’t the kind of slut who would go all the way on the first date anyway. Think about it, sleep on it, and if you wake up panting for that hot new blouse, wishing you’d made love to it, go back and make it your own.”
Disclaimers:
(1) A Girl Must Shop received a free review copy of the mentioned book.
(2) A Girl Must Shop receives commission for any purchase made when you click on the link in this post
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Sounds like an interesting book. Thanks for telling us about this!